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What, exactly, is compelling these married women to set up "sexy dates" in droves, aside from easy Internet access?
For years, our collective narrative of the errant housewife has run thusly: Neglected by her aloof or abusive husband and dying a slow death from her suburban prison, she falls into the arms of a dashing, romantic gentleman.
TO BE TREATED LIKE I WAS THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH BY A HUNGRY GROUP OF MEN, PREFERABLY ALL [ethnic group whose male members are often hypersexualized in American culture, due in part to a complex legacy of discrimination]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BIG THICK [rhyming masculine body part] NEED APPLY!!! My first e-mail blitz, which doesn’t specify that I’m a journalist hoping to interview subjects, nets me a grand total of zero replies. I change tack and name-drop Yet a few replies roll in. (Identifying details have been obscured or altered slightly to ensure anonymity, and all names are fictitious.) She lists her weight at well over 200 pounds, her limits are "Anything Goes," and her tagline is "I’m too much for you." And what is she looking for? I’m not here at AM to meet someone for the opera, I assure you."What the hell is going on here?
She’s around 40, wearing casual, loose-fitting clothes and a pleasant smile. It is, though—if her identity were somehow unmasked, it could torpedo her high-powered career: She’s worked for one of the most prominent political figures in the country and nearly ended up in Obama’s administration.
In short, she doesn’t fit the portrait of the promiscuous, inconstant woman cast as the adulteress in Hollywood dramas. Over cold Cusqueña beers on a hot July afternoon, Megan drops the professional mien.
I She tells me that she’s been corporeally disloyal in relationships since she started having sex at 16 and has don’t-ask, don’t-tell permission to frolic with other lovers from her "nerd" husband of nearly two decades, with whom she has several children.
She hoped marriage would change her cheating ways, but two years later found herself straying—as much out of a lust for life as for flesh.
I join her, expecting her to crane just her nostrils into me, but she embraces me in a hug, pulls me tightly into her expansive bosom, and burrows her face into the crook of my neck for a deep whiff."The women’s movement into the workplace was the first massive jump into unfaithfulness," says Noel Biderman, CEO of Ashley Madison.
Revenues in 2012 were 0 million—more than decent, but still far behind the titans of online dating like and e Harmony.
While the overall membership skews 70 percent male, Biderman claims gender parity among people in their thirties (which translates to lots of lecherous 65-year-old men hitting on 30-year-old women).
"I find myself living my life in the third person and deciding whether it’d be a good story." She takes a sip of beer.
"I want it to be dramatic."Since then, she’s averaged one or two new men per year, with a few women sprinkled in, and in the digital age has supplemented her search with Ashley Madison, Craigslist, and Cougar Life.Megan prefers younger men whom she can think of as her "boy toys—my playthings." She asks how old I am.