Stories about internet dating
• I once went out with someone who, within an hour of meeting me, told me that his ultimate fantasy was to date a replicant. • This guy commutes to the city from Connecticut, which I never really get (why not just live in New York? I suggested that he must really treasure his vegetable garden or something in order to put up with 2.5 hours/day on Metro- North. He called me a hippie for growing my own vegetables.
He told me that when he bought his house, he hired a landscaper to tear everything out and replace it with gravel. • My dates “catch phrase” was a quote from Seinfeld. When we meet, I start to talk about Seinfeld and he tells me he doesn’t watch tv and doesn’t even own one.
• A young woman and I got along pretty well in the bar where we’d agreed to meet, but things went downhill when we decided to get dinner at a nearby restaurant.
Our server brought us a bread basket that my date grabbed three of four rolls from and then started playing weird games with.
She really loved manatees, and eventually she jumped from her boat into the water and landed on a manatee.
But the manatee was actually dead, and the body ended up falling apart and she was covered in dead manatee slime and someone had to fish her out and clean her up.
Here, six women let us in on their most disturbing, humiliating, and sometimes funny (in retrospect, of course) stories of digital dating gone terribly wrong.
He seemed so normal, but when I got back to his place I realized he was a legit pack rat.
• My date ‘encouraged’ me to share the 0 steak for two.I later found out he also had a makeshift washing machine in his bathtub.I guess it was cool, but I felt like I was going out with that little inventor kid, Data, from The Goonies." "I'd been on two dates with this guy when he started telling me how much he wanted to make me dinner on our third date. Well, the whole next week he sent me pictures of all the meals he'd prepared for himself. I nearly got diarrhea just from looking at the pics. I feel bad, but I was just worried I'd get stuck all the way out in his neighborhood without a bottle of Imodium A-D." "I got puked on. It was this dude, Lorenzo, who was a real tough guy from Queens.Then we sat down and he started looking around the restaurant at all the women with roses and bouquets of flowers.
He began telling me how much he loves freshly cut flowers, and he was sad he didn't get any that year.It was perilously close to that scene from Boogie Nights. got called a “bourgeois pig.” • He spent one-third of the time telling me about the musical he was writing about raccoons, one-third of the time talking about C , and one-third of the time demonstrating the plot of Othello using the salt and pepper shakers.