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19-Feb-2020 16:00

As you're finding, it complicates things to try and grow in friendship toward marriage with two men at one time.

You make the work of discerning a man's character and commitment to Christ more difficult by entertaining the possibility of two men at once.

Rarely does it happen that two men pursue with equal interest and intentionality, stirring in a woman an equal response and potential for love and marriage.

What's more likely is that as you get to know these men as friends, one will emerge as the man you're more drawn to (or possibly you'll realize neither is a good fit for marriage).

I know it might be too early in the relationships, but should I choose one guy at this point?

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If you find yourself wanting to confide in one to the exclusion of the other, that's a good sign that it's time to choose. And flirting with more than one man at a time is a fast track to jealousy, envy, and all sorts of trouble and sin. Relate to them as brothers and friends, not lovers or husbands.

They follow up, they text, we talk, make plans…it’s all good. On the other hand, I don’t know how to manage this.

I know I need to make a decision before things go too far (becoming too physical), but how do I know when?

However, this is not something I have ever done before and I am having a hard time with the idea of juggling.

The problem is that I really like both of them and they both seem to be really amazing guys.He says it this way, "Like a good photographer who knows how to zoom-in on one detail, I had to choose to zoom-in on Candice — to the exclusion of all the other women in the room — in order to know what our potential was as a couple." Until he made that decision, even though our friendship was growing, it never could move past friendship because there were always other distractions. We're prone to anxiety over things that never happen. This is, I believe, the most practical point of advice.



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