Dating women feeling unworthy
When she was an adult, my client told her mother how she’d “hide under the balcony” hoping to get a reaction.She asked her why she never went looking for her…why she never panicked. Her mother could see her hiding under the balcony and figured that she would come out when she felt like it! Often times people, especially children, form beliefs or laws about their life, their self-value and their destiny, because of how they interpreted something that happened to them.If you chronically date partners that you feel are “safe” or that are just simply incompatible with you, it can be a frustrating habit to maintain.Maybe you are in a really good place in your life (you’re fit, intelligent, personable, and *ahem* modest) and yet you find yourself sliding into relationships with people that you would never bring home to meet your family. When you date below your potential, you are ignoring your value in the world. You are telling yourself, unconsciously, that what you really want in life either a) isn’t worth going after, or b) you are unworthy of having.When you date a woman with depression, build a relationship and fall in love with her, her illness does not seem like a huge obstacle.Unfortunately, loving a woman does not automatically endow you with the ability to understand and deal with her depression.Imagine your best friend trying to set you up on a date by saying, “Hey man, I’ve got this woman you should totally meet.She cries if you don’t kiss her a certain way every night, she dropped out of high school, and she refuses to pay for anything!
The stories we heard from women with depression and those who dated them will offer insights as well.If they seem to be prioritizing themselves more than usual, know it is the effects of the depression rather than a character flaw.