Dating for 3 years
She obsesses about him all day long, they text all through the day.Chris has been in a relationship with Kara for the past year.
They immediately felt connected, the chemistry was hot, it was easy to see that he was a kind and considerate soul.This is where commit-a-phobia sets in: One partner wants to move forward, the other may say slow down, give me more time.The pink clouds of the first stage are fading; reality is rearing its head.Here is where what each person is particularly sensitive to – criticism, control, lack of appreciation, not getting enough attention – begins to stir: Chris starts to feel micromanaged, or Kara feels abandoned and is increasingly resentful of his working weekends.
Here is where couples can begin to argue about who is more hurt, who is too sensitive, arguments that can seem endless or destructive. Often by this time in the relationship real-life experiences become part of the mix and challenge.
And the physical chemistry is about…well, literally chemistry, in this case oxytocin that fuels the sexual attraction and attractiveness, the obsessing about the other, the feelings of falling in love. You find you have a lot in common but her personality reminds you too much of your ex.