Dating a rockstar dating guild guitars from serial numbers
A few years ago, I had to swear off dating musicians. unless he’s being financially supported by Mommy and Daddy. Twenty-something and thirty-something men who don’t pay their own bills have a warped view of reality. To this day I can still remember an ex-boyfriend’s most ardent groupie: she once showed up at his apartment unannounced while I was over because she was “just in the neighborhood.” He thought she was ridiculous, but he had to be polite to her because she was such a major fan.
I’d been dating them since high school, both casual guitar-noodlers and career musicians who had songs on CW shows and their faces on T-shirts. If you’re comfortable with long absences, then this is great. Expect to pay for more than your share/everything, but don’t get trapped into supporting him financially at the expense of your own career. While there are plenty of musicians who have day jobs, there are than a few trust fund brats. Think Mel on “Flight Of The Conchords”: mostly harmless, just annoying. A song is not a present (at least in my book), unless your name is Elton John and the song is “Your Song.” But if you date a musician, especially an impoverished musician, he’s going to write you a song in lieu of a more appropriate gift. Blame it on going onstage every night at 11, but a lot of successful musicians are creatures of the night.
No, the greatest book about love is The Art of War by the Chinese general Sun-tzu. Lift your martinis and let us toast the heart-stomping tactics presented 2,600 years ago by old Sunny-tzu.
My friend Wes of The Family Records suggested that saying something like “I like Easter! I’m pretty sure everyone thought this whole “writing a piece about dating advice from boys in bands” was a farce-driven pickup move, which was embarrassing. Here are the 8 dating lessons I’ve learned, taken from interactions with old band friends, new band friends, and “when we’re in the same city” band friends — including, but not limited to, members of I Am Love, Savoir Adore, Das Racist, Oberhofer, Diplo, Cubic Zirconia, Bearstronaut, and The New Highway Hymnal. Keeping things a bit mysterious makes it a little exciting. Break the rules and you can have the best time of your life, as evidenced by breaking into a closed pool with one of the bands, because everyone decided that they wanted to after-party in the hot tub. …and definitely couldn’t have been done if rule following was a thing. This thinking alone has sustained a “relationship” that I’ve had with X band boy, because we’re kind of just like ‘whatever.’ It works, and we do have fun.
The greatest book about the battle of the sexes is not The Art of Love by the Roman poet Ovid—though that is a seriously fantastic read.The band plays out a lot, so if your birthday falls on a Friday or Saturday you can forget about having him there for the celebration. No one misses a gig for He's too creative for Swiffering, showing up on time, wearing a collared shirt to a court date, talking about anything other than music even though he's alienating 90 percent of the other people in the room, and/or holding a W2 job. A lot of bands will come and watch the opening acts in an attempt to appear grounded and humble. And finally, Erin's favorite "types" from the book: Best band boys: The Boy with the Thorn in His Side ("Behind the hatred there lies a murderous desire…for love…") His moods range from dark to forlorn, his playlist from "Tainted Love" to "Boys Don't Cry," and he "gets hives instead of a hard-on at the thought of you having a threesome." Ready for a Belle and Sebastian listening marathon? "He may be a bit much to handle, mood-wise, but he's got empathy and emotional understanding—two things you can't teach someone," Erin says.