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04-May-2020 17:52

It goes by the tagline “The Serious Dating Website.”Gong was in office attire: glasses, ponytail, no makeup, and a pink Adidas jacket with a ragged left cuff.

The young men and women before her were joining a staff of nearly five hundred.

Women now had a voice in the selection of their mates, and, in one case, a bride who was marrying for love confided to Yan that she was too happy to sob; she had to rub hot pepper on her handkerchief in order to summon the tears that guests expected when a bride leaves home—the misery that would give face to her parents.

But nobody seemed to know how to make the most of that freedom.

Arranged marriages were banned in 1950, but twenty years later, when the anthropologist Yan Yunxiang moved to a village in China’s northeast, local women had so little say regarding whom they married that they sobbed when they left home on their wedding day.

FIRST OFF, YES our site is centered on connecting English speaking Chinese singles from all corners of the world and specifically single Chinese-Americans.But those practices merely reinforced existing barriers, and for vast numbers of people the collision of love, choice, and money was a bewildering new problem.In much of the world, marriage is in decline; the proportion of married American adults is now fifty-one per cent, the lowest ever recorded.Your customers, she told them, will be virtually indistinguishable from yourselves: strivers, alone in the city, separated from love by “three towering mountains”—no money, no time, and no connections.

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I met Gong six years ago, after she received a master’s degree in journalism and entered the dating business.She recently released a book, “Love Well, Don’t Get Hurt,” and her advice reads like an argument against China’s ancient pieties.